Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
