You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
