I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
