You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
