matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize