My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
