Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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