Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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