zippers are such a cool invention
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i dont even know how to be here
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
