I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
