I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
