She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
