woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Drake has all the answers
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
