whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
