VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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