My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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