6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Randomize
