I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize