Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
