I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize