I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
