Nicole vs. Life
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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