You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
