Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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