WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
