it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
