she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
