she kept yelling 'call me bella'
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I queefed so loud it echoed.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
