Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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