hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
