Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize