He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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