look no pants
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.