the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine