I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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