dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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