I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
