I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
