O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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