my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
