He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
