She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
