Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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