I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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