Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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