How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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