When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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