mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
