i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
