I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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