Joe is yelling at the trees again.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
