my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Dignity is for republicans.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
