Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
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