You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
