I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
