Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize