in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
