I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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