I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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