remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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