Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Randomize