K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
